It is not unusual for Kiwi business owners, especially couples in business together, to be torn by guilt from balancing the unrelenting demands of the ‘mistress’ against the needs of a healthy family relationship.
“Being tug of war between family and earning an income to support that family can cause stress, burnout and put strain on the relationship,” says Gaelene Adams Love, founder of Team Fusion International.
“The business has to keep running, but family is most important. Sometimes, one partner looks after the business while the other focuses on family, but even this is far from ideal—it impacts both.”
She says the struggle can end with fractured relationships which harm personal lives and business performance alike.
Adams Love suggests that by introducing structure and focus into their operations, couples in business can reduce guilt, reclaim balance, and create a sustainable approach to managing their business and family.
Practical Steps to Restore Balance
1. Define Roles and Responsibilities
A common issue for business-owning couples is the lack of clarity around their roles.
“Writing a role description makes a huge difference,” says Adams Love. “By listing tasks and responsibilities, owners can assess whether everything on their plate is truly necessary and set measurable key performance indicators (KPIs) to track progress.
“These KPIs give visibility to accomplishments, replacing guilt and self-doubt with a sense of achievement.”
Role clarity also helps avoid duplication and misunderstandings. For couples, it’s particularly important to define boundaries, ensuring work responsibilities don’t bleed into personal time.
2. Plan Ahead with Budgets and Goals
A lack of planning often fuels anxiety and guilt. Adams Love recommends creating a roadmap that includes a budget and clear quarterly target. “Having a plan takes the unknown out of tomorrow, next week, and next month,” she says.
A roadmap helps couples focus on high-priority tasks that drive business outcomes, rather than being overwhelmed by less impactful activities. For small and medium-sized business owners, it also provides financial stability, turning cash flow from a rollercoaster into a more predictable resource.
3. Focus on Input, Not Just Outcomes
Many business owners become fixated on outcomes, such as revenue or client acquisition, but neglect the daily activities that lead to success.
“Ask yourself what daily actions will keep your sales funnel active—calls, emails, meetings, or marketing activities,” says Adams Love. Setting daily input targets ensures consistent effort and momentum, even during busy or challenging periods.
This approach can reduce the pressure that comes from constantly chasing outcomes. For couples, it also means shared accountability for progress, which is critical when there is no backup income to fall back on.
A Path to Stability
For couples in business, the stakes are uniquely high. “Every business owner wants to provide for their family and create a better life,” says Adams Love. “But without structure, the effort feels relentless—like purgatory.”
By implementing role definitions, structured plans, and daily input targets, business owners can move away from chaos and guilt toward stability and success. A s Adams Love puts it, “Most businesses get to where they are by accident. Imagine how far they could go with purpose.”
Taking control of both the business and the work-life balance isn’t just good for profitability—it’s essential for mental health, relationships, and long-term sustainability. With the right systems in place, couples can transform their demanding mistress of a business into a reliable partner for life.
ENDS.
